This is another post for the ladies! My precious sister, Chels, was recently married to a wonderful, Godly, loving man. She was almost 27 on her wedding day, and every year previous to getting married, she lived fully and joyously.
As I’ve been pondering the years before Chels married, I am grateful for the privilege of spending that time doing life with her and learning from her example. Today I want to share with you Three Things My Sister Taught Me About Life Before Marriage.
1. If you want to be a happy wife someday, be a happy woman TODAY.
Chels has always told me (and other girls), “If you aren’t content before you’re married, you won’t be content after you’re married.”
Before marriage your “if only’s” might be things like the following:
“If only I had a date this Valentines Day.”
“If only I could be the girl planning her wedding.”
“If only I had a husband.”
There will still be “if only’s” after marriage, they will just look more like these:
“If only I could get pregnant.” (if you struggle with infertility)
“If only we had more money.”
“If only my husband was more sensitive.”
“If only we could live in my community instead of his.”
Do you see what a vicious cycle discontentment is?
Learn to look outside of yourself, and you will start to lose sight of yourself.
Take advantage of opportunities to invest in your family, learn new skills, become more like the Lord, travel, reach out to others, serve in your community, help the hurting.
“Who can find a virtuous woman? for her price is far above rubies.” -Proverbs 31:10
My sister was a beautiful example of living life to the fullest! She loved life, she really did. I never heard her say, “I am getting older….I wonder when the right guy will come along.” If she every thought that, she just jumped right into working on the next big project for our father, or heading to help the next overwhelmed mamma, or baking yet another batch of bread for her hungry brothers, or arranging the next new song, or writing an email to the a discouraged girl.
Chels was happy without a husband. Some of you girls find it hard to believe……but let me tell you, I lived with her and was (still am, next to John:) her closest friend. I saw the evidence of how fulfilled and joyful she was before she even knew she would ever be married. She’s thrilled to be a wife, but she didn’t wait till marriage to find purpose and happiness. She found that a long time ago.
Let’s make it personal:
Don’t wait till marriage to find purpose and happiness. Find it TODAY!
And you will find it first of all by having a strong, deep relationship with the Lord, and out of that relationship, serving, loving, and giving to others.
2. Love your life!
If you can learn to love what your life consists of today, even the hard times, you will be a much more grateful wife someday.
Chels used to say, “I love my life so much, that I don’t know if I will ever be willing to leave it for marriage.” She was truly so fulfilled, and so grateful for the unique life she had, that she couldn’t imagine getting married. When the time was right, and John came into her life, she was willing and ready to start a new life with him; however, she was fully satisfied before she ever met him.
Today is the day to be a virtuous, joyful, purposeful woman! Life is too short to waste any of it. There are things to be done, and people to be helped.
3. Learn to love serving others.
When you’re focused on other people and their needs, you won’t have as much time to worry about yourself.
This is the best thing you can do. While you never need to deny that you have the desire to be married, that desire should not be the focus of life. Fill your days with lovingly serving others!
Stop being selfish. Start being selfless.
Selfishness is a plague of our society, and young women are as apt to it as anyone else, perhaps more so.
The greatest antidote to discontentment is selflessness.
Chelsy showed me, by example, how sweet it truly is to give and serve. She may not have had children of her own to get ready on Sunday mornings, but instead of sleeping in and enjoying a leisurely morning (or envying her friends that had a husband and children), she got up early and left the house over an hour before she needed to. Why? To go help our pastor’s wife get her five little ones fed and dressed for church.
When it was wedding time for a friend, instead of being jealous and sad that it wasn’t herself getting married, Chels was always the one throwing a shower, helping organize for the big day, doing music/hair/makeup, taking free photos of the reception, etc.
Girls, what resonated with you? I’d love to hear from you!