5 Ways to Encourage Your Brothers

1. Pray for them.

Make it a point to ask each of your brothers for specific prayer requests from time to time, and then write those things down and pray for them regularly. I recommend praying for each of your brothers on a daily basis.

In addition to praying for them faithfully, be sure to follow up and ask them how it’s going in the specific area you’re praying about for them. There may be something new or different, and if so, make a note of it and start praying about that.

You will be amazed to see God answer your prayers for your brothers! I can’t count all the specific answers and provisions God has given for things I’ve prayed for my brothers over the past year. It’s so awesome to see Him working in their lives, and my faith has been built incredibly through praying very specifically for things in their lives and seeing God answer and provide!

2. Write them notes.

This one is so fun! You can use Scripture verses, or point out things in their character, or just tell them how glad you are to have them for a brother! I often end my notes with something like, “I’m so blessed to be your little sis!”, “You’re such an incredible man!”, or “I’m so proud of you, bro!”.

3. Learn their love languages.

I wrote a guest post here on this topic. Learning about love languages and applying that knowledge has revolutionized my relationships with my brothers. I’m still working on consciously speaking their love languages on a regular basis, but it’s definitely a practical way to make them feel loved.

4. Take interest in their lives and the things they like.

Your brothers will often feel cared about to the extent that they can tell you truly care about them. If you are thinking of something else entirely and giving an absentminded “hmm” as they tell you something, they will likely notice. If you are always too busy to talk or do stuff together, they won’t want to keep “bothering” you. Girls, our brothers are smart, and they know if we truly care to hear their 10 minute recount of the football game they just watched, or if we wish they would just go fly a kite already!

To my shame, I have been guilty of brushing off my brothers and not taking interest in them far too many times, but it is something I am working on. I want them to know that I ALWAYS want to hear about whatever they want to tell me. I want to be the kind of sister that they know is available to do things with them if at all possible. This includes when it is an inconvenient time, or when the activity is not my favorite.

5. Treat them like men.

My post on “Nurturing Your Brothers’ Manhood”Β goes in-depth into this topic. I am passionate about girls treating brothers like men! You have more power than you realize over your brothers. What are you doing about it?

Maybe the Lord has convicted your heart about an area you need to work on in your brother/sister relationships. I am cheering you on as you strive to be the sweetest, kindest, sister your brothers could every hope for!

much love,


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  1. Thank you Allison! I needed that. My brother and I have never really “gotten along” and I, unfortunately, blamed it all on his faults. From this post I can better see where I am falling down on the job, and might be able to improve. Time for me to quit blaming his problems as my problem! I already do several of your thoughts (like writing notes), but I can definitely improve on things like taking interest in the things they enjoy, praying for him, and treating him respectfully. Super thoughts, and definitely an encouragement to do better and stop making excuses.

  2. Wonderful points + thanks for the link love, friend! Miss you and enjoy reading your posts, even though I’ve been less than faithful with commenting, eek.

  3. This so good and helpful, Allison!! Definitely something I’m striving to be better at; I truly want to have the best relationship with my brothers, and to let them know that I really care about them, and will cheer them on as they become men!

  4. Could you do a post on fancier hairstyles as in how you would do your hair for a wedding or a special occasion?

  5. That’s really neat you wrote that guest post, I was just reading the singles edition of the 5 love languages. I have been applying that to show that I care about my siblings in a personal way, for instance my one brother LOVES back rubs(he’s only 9!!, but asks for them since he was little:), and the other appreciates it when I verbally say that he’s doing a great job on his work or whatever. I should really be more interested in their interests when they’re talking very excitedly about things, but it’s really hard when you have not the slightest idea about the topic of drones, or technical things.

    1. That’s awesome, Davida! I think taking interest in them can be the hardest thing of all.:) And so we keep working on it!

  6. This was a wonderful post Allison and especially relevant in my life(I have 7 bros ages 22-2!) All the points we’re very important and awesome reminders, but especially 1+4. Praying for your brothers is so very vital! And also taking an interest in their life’s–it is SO important showing them that you TRULY care about them! And also I find writing notes/sending text super fun also!=)
    Thanks Alli!
    With love,

  7. Wonderful ideas! Thank you, Allison!
    This morning a friend and I met for Bible study and were discussing the concept of love languages together. I have 4 brothers, 2 younger and 2 older. I honestly don’t know what their love languages are, but I’m now on a mission to figure them out πŸ™‚
    One way I try to encourage my brothers is to speak well of them to others πŸ™‚

  8. Thanks for the reminder to be intentional about loving our brothers. I am especially aware that I’m not always interested in what they have to say. I want my brothers to see and know that they are valuable and precious to me, and I know this will make a difference in our relationship later in life as well. Thanks for another round of encouragement!

  9. Thanks for posting this, Allison! A great encouragement and reminder. πŸ™‚ I too, have put these into practice for my brothers and I see a great reward in the way I see them rising up as Men!! It’s so important that we as sisters realize the impact we have on all our siblings but especially our brothers! As a family, we have also all learned what each other’s love languages are so we can be more apt to show our appreciation for each individual in the ways that are best in their eyes!! It’s been a great excersise! πŸ™‚

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