So You’re Single?: Five Ways to Grow + Flourish as a Single

Ever wondered what you should be doing right now, TODAY, as a single? What are practical ways to grown, learn, and prepare for the future, no matter what it holds?

Here are five key things that I believe every single young adult (guy or girl) should do:

Develop a strong, intimate relationship with Jesus Christ.

If you are going to be a strong force for the Kingdom of God, you have to first have a strong relationship with Him.

If you are going to be an excellent employee, friend, daughter, brother, missionary, pastor, or anything else, a strong relationship with the Lord is the best foundation you could have.

If you are going to have a strong marriage, you have to have  a strong relationship with Christ.

“Build a strong discipline of seeking Christ daily. Learn to listen and be attentive to His leading. Fast and pray. Memorize Scripture.” (Cassidy, 19, engaged)

Spend time with your siblings.

(If you don’t live in the same community as your family, find a family you can “adopt.”) Spend time with them. Build relationships. Someday, you will look back fondly these memories.

“Spend TONS of time with your siblings, cause one day you’ll wake up and realize that the seasons are changing- and you can NEVER relive yesterday. I don’t regret a single minute that I’ve spend with my siblings.” (Mitchell, 24, engaged)

Embrace mentorship.

This is a season in which your growth as a person may be directly related to the level that you invite mentorship and accountability into your life. In my experience, it is very easy as a single person to get stuck in our ruts. Sometimes without the nurturing of a parent (as when we were kids) or the perspective of a spouse (as we’ll have when we’re married), we can grow more and more selfish and engrained in bad habits.

I personally have chosen to invite my parents’ advice and mentorship. I have friends who either live far from their parents or have non-Christian parents. Many of them have sought out a Godly mentor in their church or area that can be that voice of wisdom from a few years ahead in the journey.

Learn communication skills.

At work, at home, at church, in your friendships- learn to become a better communicator. Good communicators aren’t just good at talking- they’re good at listening. These skills will be valuable to you for life. If you get married, are a single missionary, work an 8-5 job, are a pastor or pastor’s wife, etc, much of your success will depend on effective communication.

“Learn the art of effectively communicating and listening while you’re single.” (John, 26, dating)

Get a vision for something bigger than yourself.

This is something that I cannot stress enough! If you want to be content, fulfilled, and joyful as a single person you must get busy serving others! Sometime the discontentment problem is actually a boredom problem. Maybe you aren’t actually bored, but if your life isn’t brimful as an active servant of Jesus Christ, being His hands and feet to the world, then you will have a very hard time being satisfied.

“Single life is such an adventure! It just gets better and better, and I’m absolutely lovin’ it! God is just so good and following Him is THE BEST!” (Priscilla, 32, single)

Did one of these especially stick out that you want to work on? What else have you done to build a solid foundation as a single?

-Allison

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10 Comments

  1. This is so true and so important! I’m especially realizing how important it is to spend as much time as possible with my siblings and to work on communication. I’m pretty bad at communicating with other people… I’m too quiet. And it’s been such a joy recently helping so many people in our church, especially the wedding that have been happening recently! Thank you for sharing! Keep encouraging others! God bless!

  2. Thank you, Allison. What a timely reminder for me! I especially appreciated Priscilla’s quote. Yes, living life for Jesus is the best and ultimate life!! He is Who we live for whether single or married and that is the only “condition” in which we can find true joy. It’s helpful for me to remember that marriage is NOT the purpose of life; my Heavenly Father is the purpose and reason for my life. Thank you for your practical advice!

  3. Thank you for sharing your thoughts in these posts, Allison! I have enjoyed reading them. I meant to comment on the last post, but just wanted to share as a newly married woman how grateful I am for my single years and the experiences the Lord allowed me to have. Looking back I am so glad I did not get married one year, even one month, sooner then I did. I was able to do a lot of ministry, live and work at a birth center in the Philippines for 5 months, become certified as a midwife and start a midwifery practice, and much more while I was single. I would not be the same person without each of these experiences and God used them to help me grow and strengthen my relationship with Him. Some days and some circumstances I went through were painful and harder then I could imagine, but we must cling to the Lord and claim His promises that He is good.
    I would encourage all singles to be completely open to what God has for them to do and to step out in faith to learn and do those things. Don’t wait around. Pray about it, make sure your heart is in the right place, seek counsel, and then go DO IT!

    1. Hey Bryant! I appreciate your sweet comment so much, and 100% agree with what you said! It is really refreshing to hear from a newly married gal about how valuable your single years have been, even to you now as a bride. There is so much to do, and from the little bit I know about you, you seized those single years and lived them to the fullest! And then in GOd’s perfect timing, He wrote a beautiful love story for you.
      blessings,
      Allison

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